discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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