My liver just broke up with me...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
