Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
