In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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