what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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