she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize