i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
