Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize