my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge