I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.