If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach