I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.