i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
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you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC