I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize