and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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