What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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