Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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