bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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