my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize