you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize