My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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