i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
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You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.