Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.