Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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