I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
