i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
