so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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