I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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