She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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