she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.