is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.