yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.