Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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