I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
