so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.