fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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