I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
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my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.