You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.