I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.