I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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