found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
