I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
