their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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