when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize