A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
