Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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