ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it