my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well