It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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