She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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