i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize