so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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