Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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