The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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