So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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