happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
