screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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