yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize