whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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