im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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