Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
